Half Mast

My dad was a Master Sergeant in the military and served for 20+ years. He died this past Sunday, April 21st at 11:21pm. He was an honorable man who lived with grace and dignity. He served his country proudly and strong.

My brother Nick is a firefighter in Connecticut. He also has a buddy who is a Captain at a department in Cottonwood, AZ- both of these departments have lowered their flags at half mast today to honor my dad. He also has quite a large goal of somehow being able to get ahold of Obama at the White House and get an order to have all flags across the country lowered on Thursday. This may or may not happen but our family is reaching out to anyone who might like to participate and asking you to lower your flag and share our mission. As far as larger organizations we are specifically thinking military, police departments, fire departments and government jobs. We have already contacted family and friends who serve or have served or is a public servant in some capacity. We have contacted a cousin of mine who is currently serving in Afghanistan to see if he and any of the men and women in his unit would like to join this movement in some way.

We understand what we are asking but that is just the type of family we are. We think BIG. And we have a shit ton of love for this man. And there are a shit ton of people that my dad has left his mark on who love him as well. This whole phenomenon started over 3 weeks ago- from the moment of my dad’s cancer diagnosis to less than 48 hours ago when he died.

What we would love is for anyone who is willing and able to take part, to send photos with their flags lowered. If this is not possible, another idea we have is to have a photo taken with a sign thanking my dad, Chuck Dearing, for his service. If you feel inclined, please help us spread the word. We are holding a Universal Prayer of Peace at 5pm PST for him on Thursday and would like this to coincide with that.

You can join our movement here: https://www.facebook.com/events/112875865580426/ or email your photos moonstruckgatherings@gmail.com

Peace, light and love~

Sacred Beauty

This is a love story. It may not look like it from the outside, but from the heart of it, it is impossible not to see. My mom and dad have been happily married 23 years. 4 years ago they sold their home and most of their belongings and have been traveling across the country and blogging as “Happily Homeless”. 2 weeks ago my dad was diagnosed as terminal with cancer. We suspect he only has another week or 2 to live. I sit here now, writing to you as my dad wakes this morning not knowing if he will see tomorrow. 

The feeling that resides in my body right now is almost indescribable. I suppose it started to become known to me a few days ago. This eerie sense of peace is gently working into my soul. It seemed odd given my current residence in grief, USA. It has been coming to me in pieces. I have been becoming more and more aware of my “role” in this process. Everything in my life- my yoga teacher training, my doula training, my maternal instincts (even though I don’t have children), meeting my husband, my extended family- all of it, coming together to prepare me for this moment in my life- the realization that the entire universe has been conspiring from day 1. And it goes even beyond this.

From the moment of his diagnosis, my family has been documenting each precious moment- through Facebook, blogs, photos & video. The outpouring of love in support of my dad and our family is having a snowball like effect.  Friends, family and people we have never even met have been sharing our story. It may just be in our little world but it almost seems as if a phenomenon has been taking place. It started out with words of comfort and prayers. It evolved into people donating funds to help us cover unforeseen expenses. It has cascaded into stories being shared about how my dad has touched the lives of so many. Strangers who have seen “Happily Homeless” on the road have become avid followers of day to day updates. People have been flying in from across the country just to have a few more moments with my dad. My auntie sent a support package the other day. In it were magical things- things that represent the love spilling out of our hearts, things that represent our grief. Each item carefully wrapped in black paper but when opened burst with color. That box was a metaphor for everything that is happening. It had us wondering what is still to come? There is magic within our grief.

Our family has grown exponentially in these last 2 weeks. Strangers no longer exist. Everyone knows my dad’s name. They know our story. Our tears fall like rain soaking through anything they touch. But the compassion, kindness and beauty that surrounds us is like nothing I have ever seen before.

Like I said, this is a love story.

Facing my fear

I have been in California 2 days now. And other than sleeping, I have been with my dad for just about every moment. Had you read my previous post, you would have read that he has a large tumor growing in his left lung and a slightly smaller one in his right. Just the thought of it makes me want to be sick. There is no definitive prognosis yet- still waiting on the biopsy results. Any way you look at it though, there is nothing good about this. 

On a walkabout

Other than being in hospitals to support mamas in labor (I am a doula), I have never spent time in them. I certainly have never seen a greatly loved family member of mine in one. It was difficult to keep myself together when I walked into my dad’s room. I felt scared, nervous and didn’t really know what to expect. He looked not as much like himself. Even since seeing him in early February, I could tell he had lost some weight and just looked older. His left lung has what the doctors call, functionally collapsed. This means that the tumor has grown so large that it is compressing his lung no longer allowing the lower half of his lung to function. This causes him the need to be on oxygen- adding to the scare factor. 

Yesterday evening and throughout the day today, he was chatting away with me, my husband or my mom like his old self. It’s kind of a mind trip. There is a part of you that starts thinking, “He’s totally fine.” or “A few months from now, they are going to be back on the road and everything will be normal again.” You look at him and see that dad you have always known, wanting so desperately to believe that he isn’t sick. But then he coughs. Or has a hard time getting up or walking around because of the pain. Or his speech is jumbled and slurred as he dozes in and out of sleep because of the pain meds he is on. Then you think, “Fuck. This shit is real.”

I feel like a complete emotional basket-case. Pretty much anything and everything sends me into tears. Even messages of love and support are like a wrecking ball. And trust me, they are coming in non-stop. It’s funny how illness brings out the love and support in people- people you don’t even know. I can’t even begin to describe how touched I am feeling right now. Prayer chains, emails, calls, texts- I even had a friend who had her yoga class set a group intention of love and healing for my dad this morning. It’s incredible. Between the sobs and meltdowns however, there are moments of laughter and smiles. Our family is good at that. 

Family and friends have been asking us how they can help beyond the well wishes and hugs. Today I started a fund campaign to raise money for those unforeseen expenses that come at a time like this (travel expenses, gas money, meals etc). For those who want and are able to help, this is a tangible way to do so. We have already just about raised enough to purchase a plane ticket for one of my siblings who might not otherwise be able to come out and visit our dad. Each contribution that comes in sends me into tears- it is a reminder that we are not in this alone. There is a huge network of people in our lives that pretty much just think my dad is awesome. And he is.

http://www.gofundme.com/hhhospitaladventures

Women We Love

Project time! I want to create a “incredible women we love” virtual board on our MoonStruck website and/or FB page. At some point this virtual board will become a wall in our business space.

What we are looking for is for you ladies to submit to us a photo with a short story about a special woman who has made a difference in your life or the life of others. It has to be someone you know (or knew) but does not have to be related to you (living or not)- mother, sister, friend, boss-

Let this be an opportunity for us to connect, get to know one another, support and love each other! ♥ Please include in your email YOUR name, location and relationship to this woman.

Email your photo and story to moonstruckgatherings@gmail.com

Art by J.C. Spock~ www.jcspock.com